12 steps ahead

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Lindsay Lohan's Latest Theft Makes Her Such A Mean Girl!

"Everybody else has to follow the law… You're no different than anyone else. So please, don't push your luck." Judge Keith Schwartz told Lindsay yesterday as they proceeded to get into the new theft case filed against Lindsay.

I’d personally like to applaud Judge Schwartz for advising our young pop-star to look at where her feet at. It’s important for Lindsay to realize that her feet are standing behind the same desk, in the same courtroom of the same courthouse just like every other man and woman who has had to go before his Honor. There was no carpeted walkway or VIP sections, and the two men running this show are the Judge and the Bailiff.

It’s a humbling realization to find we are no different than anyone else. That life’s terms aren’t ours. But that is the type of humility we need to truly look at our actions and behaviors and begin to change the way we live our life.

Lindsay’s attitude and behaviors aren’t too far off from my own prior to getting sober. I was arrogant, entitled, and thought the world should treat me differently than everyone else. I wasn’t just any average person, I was Avinash Satz! People needed to recognize just how important I was and just how great my opinions and thoughts of life really were!

Like Lindsay, I needed to fall on my face a couple of times until I was ready to finally give up. As the consequences of my actions continue to weigh down on me worse, I began to identify just how my actions are affecting me.

I believe our “bottom” really is when we choose to stop digging. I just hope Lindsay stops digging pretty soon… For her sake and ours! I mean really, who didn’t like Mean Girls?

-Avinash Satz

Miracle House- Sober Living in Los Angeles, Clarity House- Sober Living for Women, New Life House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles , Reality House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles, Alcoholism, Addiction, Substance Abuse, 12-steps, Los Angeles sober living, treatment center, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous

Friday, February 11, 2011

Our Common Goal - Submitted by James W.

I have found that in my recovery it has been very important to share my experience and communicate with other alcoholics on a daily basis. By doing this I am able to remember where I come from as well as help others out with similar things they may be going through in their life. It’s amazing that such a broad group of people can get together to share common problems and solutions with each other that we can all relate on. Being able to talk to people about fears, insecurities, and

struggles that I have and work through them, has given me the tools I need to pass along the message to the next person dealing with similar issues. There is nothing better than seeing someone else get through a difficulty that they are dealing with and make it to the other side. I know that if I continue to share my experience with other alcoholics, there is a good chance that we can all stay sober. Just the other day I was talking to a guy that wasn’t sure if he wanted to be sober. I shared with him some of the things that I went through when I was newer in the program that were very similar to what he was dealing with. Such as, being fearful to change my life and move to a new place and not being able to use alcohol and drugs any longer to cover up my issues. It was through looking back at these feelings and seeing that I was in the exact same place as this guy at one time in my sobriety. The great thing about this moment was the fact that I could learn from him, he could learn from me, and we both stayed sober in the process.

- James W.

2/11/2011 Daily Reflections

THE LIMITS OF SELF-RELIANCE
We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasn't it
because self-reliance failed us?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.68
All of my character defects separate me from God's will.
When I ignore my association with Him I face the world
and my alcoholism alone and must depend on self-reliance.
I have never found security and happiness through
self-will and the only result is a life of fear and
discontent. God provides the path back to Him and to
His gift of security and comfort. First, however, I
must be willing to acknowledge my fears and understand
their source and power over me. I frequently ask God to
help me understand how I separate myself from Him.
from "Daily Reflections"

The Gyp-sy Whisperer

So far in my recovery I have had to take a look at much resentment. A great example of one of my resentments would be the “Gyp-sies.” For those who don’t know, Gyp-sies is a restaurant term for people who do not tip and always try to cheat the bill.
I have had many run-ins with the gyp-sies while waiting tables at the restaurant that I work at. I have seen these groups of people do everything from wasting all of our time asking too much too often, stiff us on a tip, haggle the bill, lie about the quality of the food, and vandalize the restaurant. Needless to say, every one of us servers has dreaded these people based on past experiences.
Many experiences that I have had with gyp-sy tables had me in the back of the house wishing that I could do things to their food that was not very spiritual. I would give them bad service on purpose. I would ignore them. I would involve my ego if they said that something was not on point. The bottom line is that I would do anything to not have to deal with these people. I have even pawned these tables off on other servers out of fear that I was going to blow up in the work place, and get fired. There were many nights that I would waste two hours venting my frustrations and festering in my resentful attitude.
I hated them. Even more, I hated the fact that they had so much control over my emotions. I had to do something, and I called my sponsor. He told me to do an inventory on them. I took a look at my part. I was judgmental most of all. Every time I would see any one that would resemble one of these people I would get filled with fear and avoid them. I already put expectations on how the table was going to go down and I used my judgments about past experiences as a basis of whole-sale condemnation on a race of people. Anger and Fear had brought me to racism.
Over time it came to the point where either I was going to learn how to handle the situations with these types of customers, or suffer every time. So, I forced myself to take these gyp-sy tables bearing in mind what I had discovered about my resentment. I knew that they might not change, but I could change my attitude.
I have never had to pause when agitated so much, but I focused on what I could do to prevent situations at work from taking a turn for the worst. I was of service to these people as much as my other tables would allow for me to be. It was forced but in doing so, it helped to squash my ability to act out on my resentments. Now I was taking action to be kind and show a willingness to work on my attitude. I also learned how to set boundaries without coming off like a jerk, instead of allowing people to walk all over me. This manifested itself as I asked other waiters for tips on how they have learned to deal with difficult people. I had humble myself and ask for help. But most importantly I left my ego out of it by asking myself over and over, “How big of a deal is this, really?” The serenity prayer was on like a broken record in my head during moments of agitation at work.
Now I am proud to say that I have worked through the worst of this resentment. I do not know if I just stopped letting things get to me, but the groups of “gyp-sies” that I once ran from seem to really be showing me some of the respect that I have tried to show in the previous few months. I have learned how to deal with difficult people, and most importantly I have learned how to leave me ego out of my job. I have been dubbed “the gyp-sy whisperer” as a joke at my work as a result of their affinity for my service. I have not ranted about gyp-sies for months, and they even tip me now. It is amazing what can happen when you adjust your attitude.
Ryan R.

Miracle House- Sober Living in Los Angeles, Clarity House- Sober Living for Women, New Life House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles , Reality House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles, Alcoholism, Addiction, Substance Abuse, 12-steps, Los Angeles sober living, treatment center, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous

Thursday, February 10, 2011

2/10/2011 Daily Reflections

I DON'T RUN THE SHOW
When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed
crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to
fearlessly face the proposition that either God is
everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or
He isn't. What was our choice to be?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.53
Today my choice is God. He is everything. For this I
am truly grateful. When I think I am running the show
I am blocking God from my life. I pray I can remember
this when I allow myself to get caught up into self.
The most important thing is that today I am willing
to grow along spiritual lines, and that God is
everything. When I was trying to quit drinking on my
own, it never worked; with God and A.A., it is
working. This seems to be a simple thought for a
complicated alcoholic.

from "Daily Reflections"

A Change of Thinking - Submitted by Patrick M.

Coming into New Life House I was faced with a difficult decision. I had to determine if this was really the way of life I wanted. Throughout my using, my family was the ones who wanted me to be sober not me. It took me actually going through the tough times and getting to the house to see that my life was a wreck. I was even in denial to the fact that my life was unmanageable until a couple of months ago. Through talking to the guys in the house and reflecting on the wreckage in my life, I saw that I had two options; death or buying into a sober life-style. I chose sobriety.

In the time that I have been at New Life there has been numerous difficulties I have had to face. At about four months of being here I was going through a tough time. I wasn’t willing to buy into sobriety and had been faking my way through the house and it caught up to me. I broke down, and couldn’t do it anymore. The lying and manipulating did a toll on me. It was time for something different. I got involved and kept an open mind to what people had to say. This was the drastic change of thinking that made me jump into this way of life, and from there things started to get better. Granted there were still tough times and areas in my life where I fell short but it comes with the territory. Now having some time I look back on my time in the house and see how fortunate I really am to have stuck around and be offered a chance to get my life back.

-Patrick M.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Getting Sober at a Young Age - submitted by Luc S.

I have been in and out of treatment programs and AA since I was 14 years old. My using escalated much quicker than any of my friends as a teenager, therefore I was exposed to rehab programs and AA before any of my friends ever were, this made it very difficult for me in my early years to have a willingness to be sober because I saw my same friends still “experimenting” and having fun. The fun and the parties ended very quickly for me; by the time I was 18 years old I was homeless, living in a park, and using drugs each day. Right now I am 20 years old and in 3 months I will take 2 years sober, and I will be turning 21 years old shortly after that. There have been times when I have thought about what other people my age are doing, they are in college, they are partying, and they are having fun. I use to become very envious and resentful that they can drink and party, then wake up and not have to keep drinking the next day. But I have to remember that I am an alcoholic, and that I am not like most people my age. I react differently to alcohol, I drink and use much differently than they do, and I use and drink for different reasons. And realistically, if I was still drinking, there would be no parties, I know for a fact that I would still be lost in a gutter somewhere, alone and miserable, because that’s where my using always takes me. I will probably spend my 21st birthday in a meeting of AA, and to be honest, I am looking forward to taking my 2 years sober just before my 21st birthday, as a reminder to why I cannot pickup a drink or a drug. There are young people meetings all over and there is such a large support group of sober young people that I surround myself with, that it is rare that I will even think about other people my age drinking. Rather than dwell and be upset that I didn’t have more time out there to use, I look at it as now I have an advantage, I am young, sober, and I have my whole life ahead of me, anything is possible.
-Luc S.