12 steps ahead: 2011

Monday, March 7, 2011

3/7/2011 Daily Reflections

TURNING IT OVER

Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has,
without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true
that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to
turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of
Alcoholics Anonymous? . . . Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is
the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is
not turning one's will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what
is it?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35

Submission to God was the first step to my recovery. I believe our
Fellowship seeks a spirituality open to a new kinship with God. As I
exert myself to follow the path of the Steps, I sense a freedom that
gives me the ability to think for myself. My addiction confined me
without any release and hindered my ability to be released from my
self-confinement, but A.A. assures me of a way to go forward.
Mutual sharing, concern and caring for others is our natural gift to
each other and mine is strengthened as my attitude toward God
changes. I learn to submit to God's will in my life, to have self-respect,
and to keep both of these attitudes by giving away what I receive.

from "Daily Reflections"

Thursday, March 3, 2011

3/3/2011 Daily Reflections

OVERCOMING SELF-WILL

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our
own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the
alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run
riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above
everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this
selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

For so many years my life revolved solely around
myself. I was consumed with self in all forms--
self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all
of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been
given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics
Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions
in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the
capacity--if I so choose--to put my pride aside in
all situations which arise in my life. Until I could
honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem
in many situations and react appropriately inside and
out; until I could discard my expectations and
understand that my serenity was directly proportional
to them, I could not experience serenity and sound
sobriety.

from "Daily Reflections"

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

2/2/2011 Daily Reflections

HOPE

Do not be discouraged.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60

Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too

many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic
expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to
change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning
signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of
fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing
that time is a gift, not a threat.
Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The
program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I
will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I
share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others
that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road
of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is
far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for
I am on the right road.

From "Daily Reflections"

Monday, February 28, 2011

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2/28/2011 Daily Reflections

WHAT? NO PRESIDENT?

When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer
who can compel the payment of any dues. . . . our friends gasp and exclaim, "This
simply can't be . . ."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 132
When I finally made my way to A.A., I could not believe that there was no treasurer to "compel the payment of dues." I could not imagine an organization that didn't require monetary contributions in return for a service. It was my first and, thus far, only experience with getting "something for nothing." Because I did not feel used or conned
by those in A.A., I was able to approach the program free from bias and with an open mind. They wanted nothing from me. What could I lose? I thank God for the wisdom of the early founders who knew so well the alcoholic's disdain for being manipulated.

from "Daily Reflections"

Sunday, February 27, 2011

2/27/2011 Daily Reflections

A UNIQUE STABILITY

Where does A.A. get its direction? . . . These practical
folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole

authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express
Himself in the group conscience. . . The elder statesman
is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision,
who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose
judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is
sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines
patiently awaiting developments.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 132, 135

Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven
the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions. As my
recovery progressed, I realized that the new mantle was
tailor made for me. The elders of the group gently
offered suggestions when change seemed impossible.
Everyone's shared experiences became the substance for
treasured friendships. I know that the Fellowship is
ready and equipped to aid each suffering alcoholic at
all crossroads in life. In a world beset by many
problems, I find this assurance a unique stability.
I cherish the gift of sobriety. I offer my gratitude
for the strength I receive in a Fellowship that truly
exists for the good of all members.

from "Daily Reflections"

Saturday, February 26, 2011

2/26/2011 Daily Reflections

NO ORDINARY SUCCESS STORY
A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the
word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under

grace, into spiritual progress.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 35
Upon entering A.A. I listened to others talk about the
reality of their drinking: loneliness, terror and pain.
As I listened further, I soon heard a description of a
very different kind--the reality of sobriety. It is a
reality of freedom and happiness, of purpose and
direction, and of serenity and peace with God,
ourselves and others. By attending meetings, I am
reintroduced to that reality, over and over. I see it
in the eyes and hear it in the voices of those around
me. By working the program I find the direction and
strength with which to make it mine. The joy of A.A.
is that this new reality is available to me.
from "Daily Reflections"

Thursday, February 24, 2011

2/24/2011 Daily Reflections

A THANKFUL HEART

I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful
heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming

with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in
outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37

My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic
and always have "an attitude of gratitude"--that
gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that
humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity, and that
"anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our
Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before
personalities." As a result of his guidance, I start
every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things:
I'm alive, I'm sober, and I'm a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous. Then I try to live an "attitude of gratitude"
and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the
A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it's
something I live.

from "Daily Reflections"

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

2/23/2011 Daily Reflections

GUIDANCE

... this means a belief in a Creator who is all power,
justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose,

a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however... haltingly,
toward His own likeness and image.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51

As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my
dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see
that there was a life which, if I could have it, I
would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is
through the continuous work of the Steps and the life
in the Fellowship that I've learned to see that there
is truly a better way into which I am being guided.
As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust
His ways and His plans for the development of His
character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow
toward His image and likeness.

from "Daily Reflections"

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Balance In Recovery- Submitted from Derek J.

So life is in session...meetings, girlfriend, dog, sponsees, commitments, H&I, 60 hr work week, cross-fit at 6am 5 days a week, maintaining a clean house (literally), and trying not to be stressed out… It’s difficult. I’m always trying to do more, be more, strive for more...so much so that I find that I don't actually enjoy myself a lot of the time. It's hard to find balance and remain at peace when I have a full life--I have a list that is always unfinished...and that’s ok, as long as I'm ok with it-

What I have come to realize is that I need to live in the program and visit my life. When I put work, girlfriend, gym, money before my program, I then seem to have problems with work, girlfriend, and money--But when I make the program come first I change, and although the circumstances may not, my perception changes, and my ability to accept life as it comes changes...
I still always want more, and I believe it’s good to want more but when
I focus so much on what I need I can screw up the present moment....
When I focus on the footwork, and let the result be what it is I have Balance... When I meditate and pray every day for a consecutive week I have balance-What I have found is that it's really about the cumulative result. That is where I can find peace--
and that's about it .

-Derek J. 12STEPSAHEAD.COM FOLLOWER FOR LIFE!

2/22/2011 Daily Reflections

GUIDANCE

... this means a belief in a Creator who is all power,
justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose,

a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however... haltingly,
toward His own likeness and image.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51
As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my
dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see
that there was a life which, if I could have it, I
would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is
through the continuous work of the Steps and the life
in the Fellowship that I've learned to see that there
is truly a better way into which I am being guided.
As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust
His ways and His plans for the development of His
character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow
toward His image and likeness.

from "Daily Reflections"

Monday, February 21, 2011

2/21/2011 Daily Reflections

I'M PART OF THE WHOLE

At once, I became a part--if only a tiny part--of
a cosmos....

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225

When I first came to A.A., I decided that "they" were
very nice people--perhaps a little naive, a little too
friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with
whom I had nothing in common). I saw "them" at meetings
--after all, that was where "they" existed. I shook
hands with "them" and, when I went out the door, I
forgot about "them." Then one day my Higher Power,
whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a
community project outside of A.A., but one which
happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked
together, I got to know "them" as people. I came to
admire "them," even to like "them" and, in spite of
myself, to enjoy "them." "Their" practice of the
program in their daily lives--not just talk at meetings
--attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the
"they" became "we." I have not had a drink since.

from "Daily Reflections"

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Follow Our NEW WEBSITE!

12 Steps Ahead's Website can now be found at 12stepsahead.com!!!

Please visit and follow us at our new website!

12stepsahead.com

-Sponsored by Clarity House and Reality House

Follow Our NEW WEBSITE!

12 Steps Ahead's Website can now be found at 12stepsahead.com!!!

Please visit and follow us at our new website!

12stepsahead.com

-Sponsored by Clarity House and Reality House

2/20/2011 Daily Reflections

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER
At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26

Before my recovery from alcoholism began, laughter was
one of the most painful sounds I knew. I never laughed
and I felt that anyone else's laughter was directed at
me! My self-pity and anger denied me the simplest of
pleasures or lightness of heart. By the end of my
drinking not even alcohol could provoke a drunken
giggle in me. When my A.A. sponsor began to laugh and
point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions, I was
annoyed and hurt, but it taught me to lighten up and focus
on my recovery. I soon learned to laugh at myself and
eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also.
Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself
too seriously.

from "Daily Reflections"

Saturday, February 19, 2011

2/19/2011 Daily Reflections

I'M NOT DIFFERENT
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought
permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high
bottoms, " the women said they were different; . . . The

Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the
professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the
Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . .
nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very
much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are
finally down.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself "different" in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself
from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel
isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible.
It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way.
Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of
Alcoholics Anonymous.
from "Daily Reflections"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Learning compassion- Submitted by Patrick S.

The meaning of compassion is to recognize the suffering of others and taking action to help. This idea of compassion is often brought up in meetings, groups and casual conversations among fellow members in the program. But it has always been a topic and character trait that I have struggled to comprehend and apply in my daily life.

Through talking to my peers and working the steps I have only been able to break the surface of the meaning and importance of it's practice.

It has been brought to my attention that the reason I struggle so much with compassion is because I can not or choose not to, connect with people on an emotional level. Therefore, I do not poses the ability to recognize suffering in the people around me. Learning this about myself brought a sick feeling to my stomach. But knowing that there were people in my life who were willing to bring this to my attention made me feel much better. It was an opportunity for growth as long as I was willing to take it as such. And I have, through the recognition of my own shortcomings and misfortunes in life I have been able to make an effort by relating to others for what they were or may have gone through.

This small step has opened the door for me, by talking to the people in my comfort zone and building emotional relationships with them, has allowed me the opportunity to gain the discipline in order to show compassion towards the people in my everyday life or even strangers. I thank God everyday for the life I have and the people in it.

-Patrick S.

2/18/2011 Daily Reflections

OUR PATHS ARE OUR OWN

... there was nothing left for us but to pick up the
simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25
My first attempt at the Steps was one of obligation
and necessity, which resulted in a deep feeling of
discouragement in the face of all those adverbs:
courageously; completely; humbly; directly; and only.
I considered Bill W. fortunate to have gone through
such a major, even sensational, spiritual experience.
I had to discover, as time went on, that my path was
my own. After a few twenty-four hours in the A.A.
Fellowship, thanks especially to the sharing of
members in meetings, I understood that everyone
gradually finds his or her own pace in moving through
the Steps. Through progressive means, I try to live
according to these suggested principles. As a result
of these Steps, I can say today that my attitude
towards life, people, and towards anything having to
do with God, has been transformed and improved.

from "Daily Reflections"

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Fellowship- submitted by Jason S.

I am 27 years old with a little over 2 years sober. In those 2 years, the fellowship has had my back the whole time. It has never let me down. This is one of the greatest things about the program. From the time I got to the the program, I was broken. I had nothing left. I had burned all my bridges. Through my early sobriety and up until this day, I have seen some difficulties.
For example, when I had only a couple months sober, I got offered this really good job. The only thing was if I took this job I would have to leave the support group that I had made. My best thinking at the time told me to take the job. When my friends (the fellowship) heard about the decision I was about to make, they sat me down and talked to me. They helped me look at the pros and cons. They explained to me that I was too newly sober to try to make it on my own and that I probably wou Ildn't stay sober if I took that job. I took their advice and I stayed. This was a huge turning point for me. It was the fellowship that guided me in the right direction.
Just a few months ago, I moved out of my recovery house with one of my good sober friends. Two weeks after we moved in I caught him getting high. I was at a loss and had no idea what to do. I had never been put in a situation like this before. What I was taught to to was pick up the phone and ask for help. Because of the fellowship of AA I hade a lot of people I could call. So I did. What they did was help me get him out of the apartment and they even found me a new sober roomate. Saved again by the fellowshp.
Fellowship isn't all about having people having to help you out though. It is also about making bonds and having fun. I have made some really good friends in AA. People that I show up for and they show up for me. True friendship. This is something I never had when I was getting high. I didn't get sober to not have fun. I have had more fun with my sober friends then I have ever had and it could be as simple as going to dinner and a movie after a meeting. Or some golf or dirtbike riding on the weekend. What ever it may be you will find the people in this fellowship know how to have fun and to it right. Life is so much easier when people are on your side and you dont have to look over your shoulder.

-JASON S.

2/17/2011 Daily Reflections

THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES
Some of us won't believe in God, others can't, and
still others who do not believe that God exists have
no faith whatever He will perform this miracle.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 25
It was the changes I saw in the new people who came
into the Fellowship that helped me lose my fear, and
change my negative attitude to a positive one. I could
see the love in their eyes and I was impressed by how
much their "One Day at a Time" sobriety meant to them.
They had looked squarely at Step Two and came to believe
that a power greater than themselves was restoring them
to sanity. That gave me faith in the Fellowship, and
hope that it could work for me too. I found that God
was a loving God, not that punishing God I feared before
coming to A.A. I also found that He had been with me
during all those times I had been in trouble before I
came to A.A. I know today that He was the one who led
me to A.A. and that I am a miracle.

from "Daily Reflections"

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Product of My Environment - submitted by Ryan R.

Looking back at my life, it is undeniable that to some extent I have been a product of my environment. The main environment that I was involved in included drugs and alcohol. Active in my disease, every friend I had, or situation I chose to involve myself in, was somehow related to drinking and using. One of the reasons why I started drinking and using in the first place was because my peer group was doing it and I wanted to fit in. As I was getting into drinking and using, the people who were not into it seemed to phase out of my life, and I became a magnet for other delinquents like me.

I did the majority of my drinking and using back in San Diego where I am originally from. I hit several bottoms there and I tried dry sobriety a few times. I remember the first time I tried to abstain, I was seventeen. I did it for a little while with my parents trying to control who I spent my time with. But this only frustrated me. It became way too much to resist. After that I always had an alibi in order to hang out with the kids who drank and used.

The next time I tried to abstain, I did it for the sake of doing something with my life. I went to school, worked, had a band, and a girlfriend. I was able to remain clean for almost three years, but I got tired of it. Life was dull, so I wanted to bring some chaos around. I saw my old friends experimenting with hard drugs and I felt I was missing out, so I went out and did my thing. I wanted freedom but this was where the walls really started to cave in on me.

By the end of that run, I was so beaten down that I really did want to try something new, but I was in too deep. I wanted something different, but nothing changed because I was not willing to change my behaviors. These behaviors were all common amongst my friends. In fact, we fed off of each other.

I entered a sober living when I had burned all of my bridges. I began to want to be sober and to take pride in the fact that I was stacking days. I was just unwilling to get away from people who were not sober. The obsession was strengthened by the fact that I was still putting myself in these situations where I was around people who were drinking and drugging. I felt so left out and I wanted relief from the discomfort of having to feel. It become too much.

This time around, I left my old environment. I moved into a recovery house in Los Angeles where I couldn’t contact any of the people that used to co-sign my disease. This meant all the difference for me. There was no one that I could use to rationalize my own problems, by saying, “at least I’m not that bad.” There were no reservations and there were no distractions. I have friends now that actually care about me. I finally found the right environment to work on my recovery and as a result, I have been able to identify why I could not get sober. The bottom line is that I had to distance myself from my old life in order to change my life. Now it is all about sticking with the winners.

-Ryan R.

2/16/2011 Daily Reflections

TAKING ACTION
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are
being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes
slowly. They will always materialize if we work for
them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
One of the most important things A.A. has given me, in
addition to freedom from booze, is the ability to take
"right action." It says the promises will ALWAYS
materialize if I WORK for them. Fantasizing about them,
debating them, preaching about them and faking them
just won't work. I'll remain a miserable, rationalizing
dry drunk. By taking action and working the Twelve Steps
in all my affairs, I'll have a life beyond my wildest
dreams.
from "Daily Reflections"

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

2/15/2011 Daily Reflections

TAKING ACTION

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are
being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes
slowly. They will always materialize if we work for
them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

One of the most important things A.A. has given me, in
addition to freedom from booze, is the ability to take
"right action." It says the promises will ALWAYS
materialize if I WORK for them. Fantasizing about them,
debating them, preaching about them and faking them
just won't work. I'll remain a miserable, rationalizing
dry drunk. By taking action and working the Twelve Steps
in all my affairs, I'll have a life beyond my wildest
dreams.
from "Daily Reflections"

Monday, February 14, 2011

2/14/2011 Daily Reflections

EXPECTATIONS vs. DEMANDS
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that
he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition
is that he trust in God and clean house.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98
Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at
meetings. It isn't wrong to expect progress of myself,
good things from life, or decent treatment from others.
Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become
demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and
situations will go in ways I do not like, because
people will let me down sometimes. The only question
is: "What am I going to about it?" Wallow in self-pity
or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or
will I trust in God's power to bring blessings on the
messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I
should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things
I know how to do, no matter what; do I take the time to
share my faith and blessings with others?

from "Daily Reflections"

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Follow Our NEW WEBSITE!

12 Steps Ahead's Website can now be found at 12stepsahead.com!!!

Please visit and follow us at our new website!

12stepsahead.com

-Sponsored by Clarity House and Reality House

2/13/2011 Daily Reflections

WE CAN'T THINK OUR WAY SOBER

To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman,
many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too
smart for our own good.... Secretly, we felt we could
float above the rest of the folks on our brain power
alone."

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60

Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the
disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I
try to remember that intelligence is a God-given
attribute that I may use, a joy--like having a talent
for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make
me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly
reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater
than myself who will restore me to sanity--not a high
IQ or a college degree.

from "Daily Reflections"

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Lindsay Lohan's Latest Theft Makes Her Such A Mean Girl!

"Everybody else has to follow the law… You're no different than anyone else. So please, don't push your luck." Judge Keith Schwartz told Lindsay yesterday as they proceeded to get into the new theft case filed against Lindsay.

I’d personally like to applaud Judge Schwartz for advising our young pop-star to look at where her feet at. It’s important for Lindsay to realize that her feet are standing behind the same desk, in the same courtroom of the same courthouse just like every other man and woman who has had to go before his Honor. There was no carpeted walkway or VIP sections, and the two men running this show are the Judge and the Bailiff.

It’s a humbling realization to find we are no different than anyone else. That life’s terms aren’t ours. But that is the type of humility we need to truly look at our actions and behaviors and begin to change the way we live our life.

Lindsay’s attitude and behaviors aren’t too far off from my own prior to getting sober. I was arrogant, entitled, and thought the world should treat me differently than everyone else. I wasn’t just any average person, I was Avinash Satz! People needed to recognize just how important I was and just how great my opinions and thoughts of life really were!

Like Lindsay, I needed to fall on my face a couple of times until I was ready to finally give up. As the consequences of my actions continue to weigh down on me worse, I began to identify just how my actions are affecting me.

I believe our “bottom” really is when we choose to stop digging. I just hope Lindsay stops digging pretty soon… For her sake and ours! I mean really, who didn’t like Mean Girls?

-Avinash Satz

Friday, February 11, 2011

Our Common Goal - Submitted by James W.

I have found that in my recovery it has been very important to share my experience and communicate with other alcoholics on a daily basis. By doing this I am able to remember where I come from as well as help others out with similar things they may be going through in their life. It’s amazing that such a broad group of people can get together to share common problems and solutions with each other that we can all relate on. Being able to talk to people about fears, insecurities, and

struggles that I have and work through them, has given me the tools I need to pass along the message to the next person dealing with similar issues. There is nothing better than seeing someone else get through a difficulty that they are dealing with and make it to the other side. I know that if I continue to share my experience with other alcoholics, there is a good chance that we can all stay sober. Just the other day I was talking to a guy that wasn’t sure if he wanted to be sober. I shared with him some of the things that I went through when I was newer in the program that were very similar to what he was dealing with. Such as, being fearful to change my life and move to a new place and not being able to use alcohol and drugs any longer to cover up my issues. It was through looking back at these feelings and seeing that I was in the exact same place as this guy at one time in my sobriety. The great thing about this moment was the fact that I could learn from him, he could learn from me, and we both stayed sober in the process.

- James W.

2/11/2011 Daily Reflections

THE LIMITS OF SELF-RELIANCE
We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasn't it
because self-reliance failed us?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.68
All of my character defects separate me from God's will.
When I ignore my association with Him I face the world
and my alcoholism alone and must depend on self-reliance.
I have never found security and happiness through
self-will and the only result is a life of fear and
discontent. God provides the path back to Him and to
His gift of security and comfort. First, however, I
must be willing to acknowledge my fears and understand
their source and power over me. I frequently ask God to
help me understand how I separate myself from Him.
from "Daily Reflections"

The Gyp-sy Whisperer

So far in my recovery I have had to take a look at much resentment. A great example of one of my resentments would be the “Gyp-sies.” For those who don’t know, Gyp-sies is a restaurant term for people who do not tip and always try to cheat the bill.
I have had many run-ins with the gyp-sies while waiting tables at the restaurant that I work at. I have seen these groups of people do everything from wasting all of our time asking too much too often, stiff us on a tip, haggle the bill, lie about the quality of the food, and vandalize the restaurant. Needless to say, every one of us servers has dreaded these people based on past experiences.
Many experiences that I have had with gyp-sy tables had me in the back of the house wishing that I could do things to their food that was not very spiritual. I would give them bad service on purpose. I would ignore them. I would involve my ego if they said that something was not on point. The bottom line is that I would do anything to not have to deal with these people. I have even pawned these tables off on other servers out of fear that I was going to blow up in the work place, and get fired. There were many nights that I would waste two hours venting my frustrations and festering in my resentful attitude.
I hated them. Even more, I hated the fact that they had so much control over my emotions. I had to do something, and I called my sponsor. He told me to do an inventory on them. I took a look at my part. I was judgmental most of all. Every time I would see any one that would resemble one of these people I would get filled with fear and avoid them. I already put expectations on how the table was going to go down and I used my judgments about past experiences as a basis of whole-sale condemnation on a race of people. Anger and Fear had brought me to racism.
Over time it came to the point where either I was going to learn how to handle the situations with these types of customers, or suffer every time. So, I forced myself to take these gyp-sy tables bearing in mind what I had discovered about my resentment. I knew that they might not change, but I could change my attitude.
I have never had to pause when agitated so much, but I focused on what I could do to prevent situations at work from taking a turn for the worst. I was of service to these people as much as my other tables would allow for me to be. It was forced but in doing so, it helped to squash my ability to act out on my resentments. Now I was taking action to be kind and show a willingness to work on my attitude. I also learned how to set boundaries without coming off like a jerk, instead of allowing people to walk all over me. This manifested itself as I asked other waiters for tips on how they have learned to deal with difficult people. I had humble myself and ask for help. But most importantly I left my ego out of it by asking myself over and over, “How big of a deal is this, really?” The serenity prayer was on like a broken record in my head during moments of agitation at work.
Now I am proud to say that I have worked through the worst of this resentment. I do not know if I just stopped letting things get to me, but the groups of “gyp-sies” that I once ran from seem to really be showing me some of the respect that I have tried to show in the previous few months. I have learned how to deal with difficult people, and most importantly I have learned how to leave me ego out of my job. I have been dubbed “the gyp-sy whisperer” as a joke at my work as a result of their affinity for my service. I have not ranted about gyp-sies for months, and they even tip me now. It is amazing what can happen when you adjust your attitude.
Ryan R.

Miracle House- Sober Living in Los Angeles, Clarity House- Sober Living for Women, New Life House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles , Reality House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles, Alcoholism, Addiction, Substance Abuse, 12-steps, Los Angeles sober living, treatment center, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous

Thursday, February 10, 2011

2/10/2011 Daily Reflections

I DON'T RUN THE SHOW
When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed
crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to
fearlessly face the proposition that either God is
everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or
He isn't. What was our choice to be?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.53
Today my choice is God. He is everything. For this I
am truly grateful. When I think I am running the show
I am blocking God from my life. I pray I can remember
this when I allow myself to get caught up into self.
The most important thing is that today I am willing
to grow along spiritual lines, and that God is
everything. When I was trying to quit drinking on my
own, it never worked; with God and A.A., it is
working. This seems to be a simple thought for a
complicated alcoholic.

from "Daily Reflections"

A Change of Thinking - Submitted by Patrick M.

Coming into New Life House I was faced with a difficult decision. I had to determine if this was really the way of life I wanted. Throughout my using, my family was the ones who wanted me to be sober not me. It took me actually going through the tough times and getting to the house to see that my life was a wreck. I was even in denial to the fact that my life was unmanageable until a couple of months ago. Through talking to the guys in the house and reflecting on the wreckage in my life, I saw that I had two options; death or buying into a sober life-style. I chose sobriety.

In the time that I have been at New Life there has been numerous difficulties I have had to face. At about four months of being here I was going through a tough time. I wasn’t willing to buy into sobriety and had been faking my way through the house and it caught up to me. I broke down, and couldn’t do it anymore. The lying and manipulating did a toll on me. It was time for something different. I got involved and kept an open mind to what people had to say. This was the drastic change of thinking that made me jump into this way of life, and from there things started to get better. Granted there were still tough times and areas in my life where I fell short but it comes with the territory. Now having some time I look back on my time in the house and see how fortunate I really am to have stuck around and be offered a chance to get my life back.

-Patrick M.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Getting Sober at a Young Age - submitted by Luc S.

I have been in and out of treatment programs and AA since I was 14 years old. My using escalated much quicker than any of my friends as a teenager, therefore I was exposed to rehab programs and AA before any of my friends ever were, this made it very difficult for me in my early years to have a willingness to be sober because I saw my same friends still “experimenting” and having fun. The fun and the parties ended very quickly for me; by the time I was 18 years old I was homeless, living in a park, and using drugs each day. Right now I am 20 years old and in 3 months I will take 2 years sober, and I will be turning 21 years old shortly after that. There have been times when I have thought about what other people my age are doing, they are in college, they are partying, and they are having fun. I use to become very envious and resentful that they can drink and party, then wake up and not have to keep drinking the next day. But I have to remember that I am an alcoholic, and that I am not like most people my age. I react differently to alcohol, I drink and use much differently than they do, and I use and drink for different reasons. And realistically, if I was still drinking, there would be no parties, I know for a fact that I would still be lost in a gutter somewhere, alone and miserable, because that’s where my using always takes me. I will probably spend my 21st birthday in a meeting of AA, and to be honest, I am looking forward to taking my 2 years sober just before my 21st birthday, as a reminder to why I cannot pickup a drink or a drug. There are young people meetings all over and there is such a large support group of sober young people that I surround myself with, that it is rare that I will even think about other people my age drinking. Rather than dwell and be upset that I didn’t have more time out there to use, I look at it as now I have an advantage, I am young, sober, and I have my whole life ahead of me, anything is possible.
-Luc S.