So far in my recovery I have had to take a look at much resentment. A great example of one of my resentments would be the “Gyp-sies.” For those who don’t know, Gyp-sies is a restaurant term for people who do not tip and always try to cheat the bill.
I have had many run-ins with the gyp-sies while waiting tables at the restaurant that I work at. I have seen these groups of people do everything from wasting all of our time asking too much too often, stiff us on a tip, haggle the bill, lie about the quality of the food, and vandalize the restaurant. Needless to say, every one of us servers has dreaded these people based on past experiences.
Many experiences that I have had with gyp-sy tables had me in the back of the house wishing that I could do things to their food that was not very spiritual. I would give them bad service on purpose. I would ignore them. I would involve my ego if they said that something was not on point. The bottom line is that I would do anything to not have to deal with these people. I have even pawned these tables off on other servers out of fear that I was going to blow up in the work place, and get fired. There were many nights that I would waste two hours venting my frustrations and festering in my resentful attitude.
I hated them. Even more, I hated the fact that they had so much control over my emotions. I had to do something, and I called my sponsor. He told me to do an inventory on them. I took a look at my part. I was judgmental most of all. Every time I would see any one that would resemble one of these people I would get filled with fear and avoid them. I already put expectations on how the table was going to go down and I used my judgments about past experiences as a basis of whole-sale condemnation on a race of people. Anger and Fear had brought me to racism.
Over time it came to the point where either I was going to learn how to handle the situations with these types of customers, or suffer every time. So, I forced myself to take these gyp-sy tables bearing in mind what I had discovered about my resentment. I knew that they might not change, but I could change my attitude.
I have never had to pause when agitated so much, but I focused on what I could do to prevent situations at work from taking a turn for the worst. I was of service to these people as much as my other tables would allow for me to be. It was forced but in doing so, it helped to squash my ability to act out on my resentments. Now I was taking action to be kind and show a willingness to work on my attitude. I also learned how to set boundaries without coming off like a jerk, instead of allowing people to walk all over me. This manifested itself as I asked other waiters for tips on how they have learned to deal with difficult people. I had humble myself and ask for help. But most importantly I left my ego out of it by asking myself over and over, “How big of a deal is this, really?” The serenity prayer was on like a broken record in my head during moments of agitation at work.
Now I am proud to say that I have worked through the worst of this resentment. I do not know if I just stopped letting things get to me, but the groups of “gyp-sies” that I once ran from seem to really be showing me some of the respect that I have tried to show in the previous few months. I have learned how to deal with difficult people, and most importantly I have learned how to leave me ego out of my job. I have been dubbed “the gyp-sy whisperer” as a joke at my work as a result of their affinity for my service. I have not ranted about gyp-sies for months, and they even tip me now. It is amazing what can happen when you adjust your attitude.
Ryan R.
Miracle House- Sober Living in Los Angeles, Clarity House- Sober Living for Women, New Life House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles , Reality House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles, Alcoholism, Addiction, Substance Abuse, 12-steps, Los Angeles sober living, treatment center, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous
I have had many run-ins with the gyp-sies while waiting tables at the restaurant that I work at. I have seen these groups of people do everything from wasting all of our time asking too much too often, stiff us on a tip, haggle the bill, lie about the quality of the food, and vandalize the restaurant. Needless to say, every one of us servers has dreaded these people based on past experiences.
Many experiences that I have had with gyp-sy tables had me in the back of the house wishing that I could do things to their food that was not very spiritual. I would give them bad service on purpose. I would ignore them. I would involve my ego if they said that something was not on point. The bottom line is that I would do anything to not have to deal with these people. I have even pawned these tables off on other servers out of fear that I was going to blow up in the work place, and get fired. There were many nights that I would waste two hours venting my frustrations and festering in my resentful attitude.
I hated them. Even more, I hated the fact that they had so much control over my emotions. I had to do something, and I called my sponsor. He told me to do an inventory on them. I took a look at my part. I was judgmental most of all. Every time I would see any one that would resemble one of these people I would get filled with fear and avoid them. I already put expectations on how the table was going to go down and I used my judgments about past experiences as a basis of whole-sale condemnation on a race of people. Anger and Fear had brought me to racism.
Over time it came to the point where either I was going to learn how to handle the situations with these types of customers, or suffer every time. So, I forced myself to take these gyp-sy tables bearing in mind what I had discovered about my resentment. I knew that they might not change, but I could change my attitude.
I have never had to pause when agitated so much, but I focused on what I could do to prevent situations at work from taking a turn for the worst. I was of service to these people as much as my other tables would allow for me to be. It was forced but in doing so, it helped to squash my ability to act out on my resentments. Now I was taking action to be kind and show a willingness to work on my attitude. I also learned how to set boundaries without coming off like a jerk, instead of allowing people to walk all over me. This manifested itself as I asked other waiters for tips on how they have learned to deal with difficult people. I had humble myself and ask for help. But most importantly I left my ego out of it by asking myself over and over, “How big of a deal is this, really?” The serenity prayer was on like a broken record in my head during moments of agitation at work.
Now I am proud to say that I have worked through the worst of this resentment. I do not know if I just stopped letting things get to me, but the groups of “gyp-sies” that I once ran from seem to really be showing me some of the respect that I have tried to show in the previous few months. I have learned how to deal with difficult people, and most importantly I have learned how to leave me ego out of my job. I have been dubbed “the gyp-sy whisperer” as a joke at my work as a result of their affinity for my service. I have not ranted about gyp-sies for months, and they even tip me now. It is amazing what can happen when you adjust your attitude.
Ryan R.
Miracle House- Sober Living in Los Angeles, Clarity House- Sober Living for Women, New Life House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles , Reality House- Sober Living for Young Adults in Los Angeles, Alcoholism, Addiction, Substance Abuse, 12-steps, Los Angeles sober living, treatment center, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous
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